CBSG Partners “Appalled and Mortified” at CellMates Banning

Authors of the book From CellMates to SoulMates: Integrating Sales and Service, Mark W. Heisler and Suzanne Baldino Jones, are “appalled and mortified” over the banning of their new book.

Yesterday, the Agency for Literary Information Enforcement (ALIE) announced that, From CellMates to SoulMates: Integrating Sales and Service , was being immediately taken off the market for concerns over its impropriety. In an official statement, Agency spokesperson Bill O. Goodes stated, “While From CellMates to SoulMates is an insightful and entertaining business book, it is officially banned because of its blatant use of sexual innuendo, double-entendre and other forms of indecency. This order is effective immediately.”

Reached by telephone, Mark W. Heisler reacted with surprise to the ALIE announcement saying, “This is absolutely unbelievable. I am appalled. For them to say our work is indecent is just ridiculous…I have never had an impure thought in my life.” CellMates co-author Suzanne Baldino Jones was not immediately available for comment.

It is being reported by some media outlets that Baldino Jones was “mortified” by the banning and went into seclusion at an undisclosed location. Unconfirmed sources report she entered the Nunnery of the Little Sisters of the Pure and Innocent.

Heisler and Jones did, however, appear together at a hastily arranged press conference. They indicated they were in contact with their firm’s lawyers and that a legal response was being prepared. Both Mark and Suzanne stated their concern, “that people would not take this matter seriously because its APRIL FOOLS!”

Suzanne Baldino Jones and Mark W. Heisler are, in truth, the authors of From CellMates to SoulMates: Integrating Sales and Service. They readily admit that the book contains “hints” of sexual innuendo and double-entendre, but profess the real value lies with learning how to integrate a companies sales efforts with its service delivery.

Regardless of your motivation to read the book, Mark and Suzanne suggest sharing the experience with a friend or colleague. You can read more about or purchase CellMates by clicking here.

Suzanne and Mark are founding partners of CBSG, a management consulting firm specializing in customer acquisition, loyalty and retention. For more information about their consulting, training and professional speaking services call them directly at 888-411-5800 or via e-mail at mheisler@cbsg.com or sbjones@cbsg.com.

Suzanne and Mark hope you enjoyed this little APRIL FOOLS spoof.